It's already been two months since my last birthday.
It no longer surprises me, exactly, how fast time flies. Your memories just don't come with dates attached. There's forever that note of disorientation upon realizing what you're thinking of happened weeks or months or even years ago, when you could have sworn it was only yesterday.
Anyway. Now that I'm entering my mid-twenties, I thought I'd compile a list of the most important things I've learned thus far. This is in no particular order. Some I only found out recently and others I've known for years. None of them is a rule I live by 24/7; I'm not that good. But I aspire to, at least.
Because I hope you'll learn something here, I'm taking the imperative voice. *looks smug, then reminds self to be serious*
So here we go.
1. Be grateful.
This seemed like the most obvious one, so it goes first. Doubtless you've heard it before. But it's easy to forget. As human beings, we naturally tend to focus on problems and dissatisfactions, because these make up the pressing issues in our lives. But remember that what we take for granted - our house, our health, our education, our comforts, our loved ones - other people are praying for. Think about it.
2. Accept that nobody's perfect.
People make mistakes. They say and do hurtful things; they make choices you won't agree with. Everyone you know - and I mean everyone - is going to disappoint you sometimes. So don't take it personally when it happens. You can't expect people to be there for you all the time.
Remember all the times that they were.
3. Don't hold grudges.
This is a complete waste of time. There are so many other uses for your energy. The wrongdoing of others may have affected you, but it doesn't define you - unless you allow it to. Life is short. Learn to let go.
And don't sing the song.
4. Know your flaws.
Remember when I said nobody's perfect? That includes you. Everyone has certain weaknesses, areas in which they struggle. For example: I can be absent-minded. I forget things easily.
The key here is to struggle proactively.
Now I only keep certain items in certain places, so I'll always know where to look. I keep checklists in my head for routine tasks, and run through them more than once. I try to tie errands to specific times, people and places, because our brains remember by making connections, and thinking of those things might just remind me of the errand. And if all else fails, I set reminders on my phone.
None of these methods is foolproof - I still forget things. But they help.
Recognize your own flaws, and take steps to correct them. You might never be a master at whatever it is, but you can improve.
5. Know your strengths.
I have a theory that our strengths and flaws are really just two sides of the same coin. You know why I'm absent-minded? Because I'm always thinking about something else.
Like what I'm writing right now. What, you thought I was just pulling this stuff out of my ears? I planned this. I actually spend a great deal of my time ordering my thoughts. It sounds weird, but I'm pretty sure that's how you begin putting thoughts into words.
That and I read a lot.
My point here is that balance exists. Just like there are areas where they struggle, everyone also has areas where they excel. Recognize your strengths, and take pride in them.
6. Have purpose.
This one's important. The core of a life well lived is feeling that you're doing things for the betterment of others - and yourself.
At my job we entertain, but also educate. I interact with new people every day. As an introvert, I was surprised to find this is something I enjoy (though it wears me out). It's certainly improved my social skills. We practice teamwork; each person plays a role. I get to work with animals. I get to work outdoors.
It could be a lot worse.
In my spare time I exercise my cerebral passions - I write and read. And I play video games. A shameless indulgence, that, but I enjoy them. That's a goal in itself. My point here is knowing the benefits of your day-to-day activities.
Find meaning in the things you do.
7. Acknowledge your actions.
Now, for everything you do, there are any number of things you're not doing. You can't complain about the house being filthy when you spend all your spare time playing video games. (Which I don't, otherwise how could I have written this?) You also can't complain about not having enough free time if you feel the need to scrub the floors twice a day.
Time is finite. Use it well.
8. Make friends.
Another one that seemed obvious, but I thought it deserved a mention. Being a lone wolf is cool and all. But wolves are social creatures, and so are we. Some basic courtesy, consideration, and respect for differing opinions will, if nothing else, leave others with a favourable impression of you. That makes a difference. Even if you don't want to be sociable, learn to fake it.
I'm not joking. Don't think you don't need people to succeed in life. You do. Repeat after me: it pays to be nice.
9. Appreciate being single.
This is probably the hardest one for me to practice.
Don't get me wrong. I value having all this time to myself. *takes a deep breath* It just gets a little lonely sometimes.
There; I've bared my soul. Moving on.
Intellectually at least, I know this is valid. Romance and companionship are great. But the main thing that surprised me about being in a relationship was how much time it took up. (Which seems obvious in hindsight, but hindsight's a...bother.) Letting someone else into your life is a serious investment. Lacking someone else, you can do a lot more with yourself.
Though the song's annoying - don't sing it! - the movie has a point. You might be alone, but you're alone and free.
10. Have no regrets.
I said before that we need to find meaning in the things we do. We also need to find meaning in the things we've done.
I first came across this sentiment a long time ago, and it didn't make sense to me. I had regrets. How could I get rid of them, just like that? It was only recently that I understood that regretting things is pointless.
See, a regret is something about your past that you wish you could change. But you can't change the past. All any of us can do is move forwards.
So that thing you'd do differently. Either you're not going to do it again, or you'll realize you were wrong to regret it. Either way, it's taught you something. Such are the lessons of our lives. I'd like to think mine have made me a better person.
Don't have regrets. Have experiences.
To conclude: these are the things life has taught me.
What have you learned from yours?
