Why I Love Video Games

I remember a scene from The Simpsons Movie. Springfield is about to be destroyed. The fat, balding, single guy who runs the comic book store looks around and says, "You know, I've devoted my entire life to comic books. And now that it's about to end, all I can think is..."

*embraces pile of comics*

"Life well spent!"

I have the disturbing feeling a part of me might actually say that.

Not about comics, though. I have nothing against them. But the pantheon of superheroes, in its original form, is a little arcane. Where do you start? And though they are flashy, I can't summon enough interest for books of pictures compared to books without. I'm weird that way.

We all feel a certain way about treasured elements of childhood. And comic books weren't a meaningful part of mine. Other forms of media were - two in particular.

One of those was regular books. I've already waxed on about those extensively, and will continue to do so. (If that wasn't obvious.) I'm already planning another post in the same vein as this one, examining just why I love to read.

This would be the other.

Looking back, I have wondered just how healthy my hobby is. I mean, it's not like this is all I do. But I have spent a fair amount of time on it - time that could have been used for other things. Learning a new language, or a musical instrument, or working on that fantasy novel I'm always talking about. 

But then again - I've done those things too. 

I enjoyed them all. I think a key decision in how we live our lives is choosing whether to feel bad about what we didn't do, or to feel good about what we did. And life is too short to neglect the things we enjoy - including this one.

I might as well embrace it.

Today I'll be talking about why I love video games.

What gave me the idea for this post in the first place was thinking about my choices of entertainment. I'll sometimes go online to Google random things. Occasionally I'll still watch TV, or go see a movie, or read a (local) comic. But I spend far more time reading books and playing video games.

And since I tend to ask odd questions - my first reaction to a refrigerator water dispenser was to ask how it worked; a cousin said I have a curious soul - I thought, why is that?

I realized it comes down to interactivity.

Those other things I mentioned are all static. You take them in without needing to give anything back. I find them shallow. There are a few exceptions to that, but not many.

Well okay, you do interact with the internet, and I just said I'm naturally curious. So it makes sense that that takes third place.

Yes, books are interactive. They're blueprints for your imagination - you're required to visualize the information presented. But I'll make that argument elsewhere.

And video games are all about immersion.

Which is stating the obvious. But let me go on: it's immersion in the things that interest me.

I have another cousin who's also into video games. He prefers racing games with real cars, shooters based in the real world, and sports games. Realism appeals to him, and he admits he finds more fantastical titles boring.

And that's fine. We all have our own interests. But in my case, I have to admit - I find realism boring.

Well, no, not exactly. Realism in fiction is important; it provides contrast for the things that aren't real. Part of what made Skyrim so appealing was that it looks like Norway. But a Norway where you run around fighting dragons and shooting lightning out of your hands.

Watch the skies, traveller.

To put it another way: I value imagination. I like sci-fi/fantasy because it's not real. It's the legacy of people with stories to tell who actually told them. People who wanted to create new worlds, and did. That's pretty inspiring, don't you think?

And video games are the closest you can get to exploring those worlds for yourself.

Another part is, quite simply, the rush. 

Now, that can mean a lot of things. Different elements appeal to different kinds of people. I just said I like exploration. I also like action and shooting, and dislike stealth. Other people love stealth. I'll be the mage, the fighter, the super-soldier; other people want to be assassins. Or tacticians, city planners, vigilantes, F1 racers. Building armies, solving puzzles, killing zombies or flying starships. Very different activities, yes? But they can all be satisfying.

Video games are meant to be played. A game can have pretty graphics and an amazing score. But if the gameplay is tedious, frustrating, or simply cliché, the enjoyment fades fast. 

Which often comes down to taste - what it is, exactly, that you enjoy. Fans are fickle creatures. 

But if asked what my favourite games are, I would answer: the ones where I had the most fun.

Besides. For better or worse - I'm good at them.

All right, all right. I probably wouldn't win any awards. But I'll usually know what I'm doing.

I remember testing out someone else's copy of Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor a few months back. He commented on how I was already doing better than he was. It wasn't that I'd ever played the game before. I just knew that the key to any action game is learning how to block and dodge.

I did mention that I've spent a lot of time reading and playing games. And just like my reading speed is off the charts, I've learned a few tricks in video games. Utilizing cover in shooters; timing your movements in platformers. It's the little things that make a difference. 

I admit it. I like exploring new worlds because by now, the experience is familiar. 

And finally: they create the illusion of freedom.

For me at least, books and video games are the closest you can get to stepping into a story. Any one you like. From a modern-day soldier fighting in the Middle East, to an explorer searching mythical jungle ruins, to a much darker take on Alice in Wonderland.

Off with their heads.

                 
To quote George Martin, 'A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.'

I think that applies to games too. I like being a part of the stories they tell, the sense of stepping out of your life and into another. That can be taken too far, and is probably the most valid criticism towards video games. You really can lose yourself in them. All good things in moderation.

But at the same time, I think objecting to the experience because it's 'not real' is the same as saying that if man was meant to fly, he'd have been born with wings. 

Writers still write. Developers still make games. The Wright Brothers still dreamed up their aircraft.

How can they say we don't have wings when in our minds, we soar?

So think about it. Tell me in the comments, if you have time. Why do you like the things you like?

The Dark Side

"Remember that darkness lurks in every heart."
Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep

I already have a completely different post in the making. This was written in, shall we say, the shadow of the moment. But after some thought I figured, what the hell. Maybe I should show this side of myself as well.

***

I try to be optimistic. To believe in a better tomorrow. To live every day to the fullest, and so on.

Normally I succeed. And no matter how I feel, I know that I'm a lot better off than I was a few years ago. It's just that how I feel tends to follow a certain pattern.

It's funny, really. I love my job, don't think I don't. But I always look forward to the holidays. Who doesn't? You have these golden visions of days spent relaxing, working on personal projects, whatever you want.

And then the holiday arrives - and I get depressed.

I mean, it doesn't happen every time. But it's happened often enough to connect the dots.

When I'm at work, I'm confident. I'm in a setting where I have knowledge, experience, even a little authority. I know I'm doing something worthwhile. Much of my social life revolves around it. I go home and spend the night alone, and that's okay, because after a long day, more often than not I want to be alone to recharge for the next.

But with too much time to myself, the confidence fades away. I start feeling the same things I felt before I started working. I wonder where my life is going. I think about all the things I haven't done, and still can't do. I have this terrible fear that there is no better tomorrow. That this is the best it's going to get. 

I wonder if there's even any point in writing this.

That scares me.

Remember how, in the third Harry Potter book, Harry has to face a creature that morphs into one's worst fear? His is a Dementor, a hooded spectre that kills by draining you of all happiness, leaving only despair. A dark fear indeed. But one that is noted as quite wise. His greatest fear is fear itself.

I suspect my greatest fear would be...well...me. 

Myself as I am now. On the dark side.

Anyone is capable of anything. I hold this to be an absolute truth. We don't do things because, for whatever reason, we choose not to. And our choices are largely determined by our mental state.

This is why I'm wary of drinking. I've seen firsthand how people can change when inhibitions fade - in others and myself. When I drink, I tend to get depressed. I've said and done things that I deeply regret.

Our choices make us who we are. It's in moments like these that I fear choosing wrong. Someday I could decide to just give up on the world. That frightens one part of me. Another part doesn't care at all.

It's a good thing there's a third part. The one that ignores feelings and enforces logic. It reminds me that this is all part of the pattern. That we have felt this way many, many times before. 

And it always gets better. I actually don't believe that right now, but I can't deny the evidence. The dark side never wins.

If only we could stop it coming back.

I picture depression as a black hole within yourself, devouring even the smallest sparks of light. Your viewpoint narrows; colours fade. The things that make you happy don't anymore. It seems like all the world's turned to grey. 

For anyone who says you just need to think happy thoughts, let me be perfectly clear: that bullshit doesn't work. You know what happens to light in a black hole? No? You know why? 

You stop seeing it.

I'm pushing the metaphor here, but recognize that that black hole has swallowed you. You need to free yourself first. You need catharsis. Talk to someone, clean your house, compose a song or paint a picture. 

You could even write about it.

Before long, life will turn bright again.

It will come back, of course. Darkness always finds a way.

But so will you.

***

You could also check out Tiny Buddha. They help too. 

The Wheel Turns, Part 2

I said I'd write this, didn't I?

Albeit more than a year ago. Ehehehe. You can read the first part here.

At first I intended this to be my concluding entry on the Wheel of Time, covering the many ways it inspired and captivated me over the years. But then I realized this post would probably dwarf the first one. There are just too many things I want to say. So once again, I'm splitting it in two. This will be the second of three parts.

What? I'll have you know that the Wheel of Time was originally planned as a mere six books. It's in the finest tradition of the series to announce I'm making mine even longer.

Now, I actually meant this for people who've never read the series and don't know what I'm talking about. Spoilers follow. If you have read the books, great! High fives all around. But if you simply haven't read them yet - 

Stop here. Go read the books. I'd hate to ruin them for you.

Having said that: I did not read the series in order. I was lucky enough to get the first book first, but after that I read solely on the basis of availability. My own order, if memory serves, was one, eight, five, six, seven, nine, eleven, three, four, two, ten, twelve, thirteen, fourteen. The final three were in order simply because I'd caught up and had to wait for release dates with everyone else.

And I still loved the series - despite, more often than not, knowing what would happen next. Maybe you would too. If you'd like to chance it, read on. Don't say I didn't warn you.

First, some further thoughts on the final book.

'If you have grudges, put them behind you. If you have plots, bring them to completion. Make your final plays, for this...this is the end.' 

- Moridin to the surviving Forsaken, A Memory of Light

I'll usually wait at least a year before rereading books, so the experience retains a semblance of freshness. I've read a lot of good books in the meantime - I strongly recommend Guy Gavriel Kay's Under Heaven - and it's only now that I've gotten around to rereading the final book in the Wheel of Time sequence, A Memory of Light.

Maybe my expectations were too high the first time. The flaws I mentioned haven't changed. But I should still emphasize: the end is awesome. Now, with the apocalypse nigh, the various factions, nations and races of humanity (and others) finally put aside their politics and age-old hatreds and unite for what is essentially a world war against the invading forces of Shadow. 

Multiple fronts across the main continent convey a satisfying sense of scale. And the fact that the many characters and the peoples they represent are all fighting together both calls to mind the comic book fan's ecstasy over superhero crossovers, and drives home the fact that it's the end of days. There are only two sides now: everyone not on the dark side, and the dark side. Light and Shadow. Us and them. The sense of finality starts on page one, and never lets up until the climactic final battle.

Yes, the ending is vague. But intentionally so. Robert Jordan believed that readers aren't stupid - an opinion I share - and sometimes left only the barest hints of an explanation, trusting the fans to figure it out for themselves.

He also admitted he enjoyed doing so. He was kind of evil that way. 

But the fact that he kept people talking about the books after they were over probably goes a long way towards cementing his legacy. May he rest in peace.

It's still hard to believe the series has finally come to an end. But now let's look back over the ground it covered - in this post, the world and the magic, which are inextricably entwined.

1. The One Power.

Actually, the word 'magic' is almost never used.*

Instead we have the One Power, the driving force of all creation, which turns the Wheel of Time. (A central concept meaning that souls are reincarnated throughout Ages which eventually repeat themselves.) The Power is split into male and female halves - saidin and saidar. Though the two are opposites in many ways, the greatest works are accomplished when both sides work together.

This was one of my earliest lessons in the power of language.

Up until reading the first book - I was eleven, if you recall - I'd mainly encountered magic of the Tolkienesque sort: wands and waving, flowing robes and long beards. That's not a bad thing. Some books - read: Harry Potter - do it incredibly well. But there's a fine line between archetype and cliché.

In The Wheel of Time, magic was different. The term was different. Arcane tools existed, but were not strictly necessary. Gestures during spells were often behavioural quirks linked to flawed learning. All one truly needed was the ability. 

It was pretty, too.

Channeling the One Power was a vivid experience, weaving elemental threads into glowing patterns in the air. Simply holding the Power enhanced the senses, gave you endurance, and made you feel more alive. The differences between saidin and saidar intrigued me, and as a whole, I found the One Power fascinating. I don't deny that this magic inspired my own.

Which is not to say it's the most singular in fantasy fiction. But it did make an impression, almost certainly because it played such a major role in shaping the sociopolitical reality of the world - a world in which the male half is corrupted, and the Power is dominated by women. It had its own history, its own place in the story. Its own name.

Names, as we all know, have power.

2. Randland.

Which is not to say there aren't some that are tongue-in-cheek.

The main landmass of the Wheel of Time has no official name. In lieu of one, the fans dubbed it 'Randland', after the hero, Rand al'Thor.

People have complained about the series' pacing. But there's no denying that the worldbuilding is top notch. A large part of why I was so enthralled by The Eye of the World was the detail that breathed it to life. Fresh out of their backwater village, the main characters find people in another town speak with a different accent. Forgotten statues rot in the wilderness. Many doubt the Shadow even exists.

The first book mostly takes place in one kingdom. More and more are introduced as the scope expands. And of course, they all clash. Tear and Illian hate each other. The rulers of Tarabon and Altara can barely control their own capitals. The Borderlands, with their constant war against the Shadow, see southern politics as a waste of time. Cairhien fears the desert-dwelling Aiel, who laid waste to their realm over an insult. 

And over it all looms the spectre of the White Tower. Sworn to use the Power as a weapon against the Shadow only, it is nevertheless widely believed that the female Aes Sedai - 'servants of all' - manipulate half the world with their schemes. And of course, they actively hunt down male channelers.

This was by far the most complex story I read in my teens. It seemed so original. Yet at the same time, much was obviously inspired by various religions and folklores.

The ideas of reincarnation, time being cyclical and of burning away emotion to achieve detachment are all tenets of Buddhist philosophy. The ancient symbol of the Aes Sedai is a variant of yin and yang - white for women, black for men. A conqueror who once unified Randland is named Artur Paendrag. The proof of Rand being the prophesied saviour is his taking the Sword That Cannot Be Touched from a fortress called the Stone of Tear. Get it? 

Those are just a few examples. There are many more.

Though I didn't realize it at first, this is a lesson regarding something many new writers fear - I know I did. The fear of unoriginality, because your story involves elements of others.

The truth is that all stories contain pieces of what came before. The difference is in how you use them. E.g., there's a big difference between 'boy who casts spells with a wand at a school for wizards because magic is hidden from regular folk' and 'boy who casts spells with a wand in his basement at midnight because magic is illegal and the secret police will murder his family if they find out'. 

I just made that up. You get the idea.

The whole is far greater than the sum of its parts.

3. The Black Tower.

The second book I read in the Wheel of Time was the eighth. In a house where no one else read fantasy, I found it in my grandfather's bookshelf. This still amazes me. How's that for coincidence?

Comprehension-wise, it wasn't the best choice. Seven books makes a big difference. I found half of it confusing, and the rest shocking. Rand was a king now, he was fighting an empire, the White Tower was caught up in its own civil war, and so on.

But perhaps the biggest change was the violence. Rand had gone from a frightened village boy to a battle-hardened veteran, and the deadliest of the many forces under his control were the Asha'man - 'defenders of the Light' - the direct opposite of the Aes Sedai. An army of black-clad male channelers, trained specifically to use the One Power as a weapon. 

"I piled the bodies in a hollow. The horses, everything. I burned it all to ash. White ash that floated in the wind like snow. It didn't bother me at all." 

- Eben Hopwil, age sixteen, The Path of Daggers

Understand that at the beginning of the Wheel of Time, under the White Tower, using the Power as a weapon was unheard of. With the rise of the Black Tower - and the invading Seanchan Empire, with its enslaved female channelers -  it was now commonplace. Add to that the fact that many Asha'man were young boys, still in their teens, and the horror of war hung around them like a shroud.

That impressed me. In crafting my own soldier-mages, I admit to emphasizing that the potential for mass destruction should be feared - as the Asha'man were.

Particularly since many of them were going insane.

4. The taint.

The backstory of the Wheel of Time goes like this. Three thousand years ago, humanity lived in the Age of Legends, a futuristic utopia built on the One Power. The end began when man found evidence of another Power, completely forgotten in the Wheel's turning. In their ignorance, they bored a hole into the prison of the Dark One, antithesis to the Creator, and unleashed the Shadow upon the world.

The hero of the war that followed was Lews Therin Tellamon, called the Dragon. He led the resealing of the Dark One. However, his solution was flawed; he used only men. The Dark One was able to unleash a backlash that tainted the entire male half of the One Power. This drove every male Aes Sedai mad. In their madness, they annihilated modern civilization and reshaped the very face of the earth.

People remember because the taint is still there. Sooner or later, every male channeler goes insane - which is why the White Tower hunts them down.

Power corrupts - literally. 

The long-lost golden age has become a cliché in itself. But note that, unlike other ancient civilizations, the Age of Legends did not fall to some external enemy. Not directly. It fell from within; they destroyed themselves. The irony of that appealed to me.

That and the Power that caused it.

5. The True Power.

Though seen from the very beginning, the Shadow's powers were left unexplained for some time. Only in the seventh book are we given a full concept. The Dark One's magic, in direct opposition to the Creator's, is called the True Power.

Admit it. It's a cool name.

I found the contrast between the One Power and the True Power particularly interesting. How the latter would eventually kill the user, but could do things that broke the rules - like levitation. I was disappointed that it didn't play nearly as much of a role in the story. 

Well, technically it explained how the Shadow operated, from the Nazgul Myrddraal being able to warp through shadows, to the Dark One using vermin as spies. Someone else actually performs the latter at one point.

But unlike the One Power, the True Power could only be used with the direct permission of the Dark One. This was a major limitation. A handful of Forsaken - the Shadow's puppeteers and generals, who Rand spends much of the series fighting - are seen to use it in the latter half of the series.

Yet the only person to channel it consistently was the Shadow's equivalent of Rand. Ishamael - 'betrayer of hope' - first of the original Forsaken, and the Dragon's rival in the Age of Legends, reincarnated by the Dark One as Moridin - 'death' - to rival the Dragon Reborn. Fitting enough that the anti-messiah would use the dark side exclusively.

I wanted more than that. I started thinking, what if the dark side was every bit as important to the story as the light? What if the golden age fell not because a war left the light side corrupted, but because during the war, good people used the dark side themselves?

What if they used it and won? 

And then those good people turned on the rest - because the dark side should corrupt, after all - and the legend was born. But the knowledge was lost.

What if a central theme of the story is people using the dark side again?

I think I mentioned before that I like dark heroes.

After all. In the Wheel of Time, besides the Forsaken, the only other person to use the True Power is Rand himself.

Yes, all self-respecting second acts need a shocking climax.

This second post examined how the world and backstory inspired elements of my own. The third and final - yes, final - part will focus on what truly stays with you from all good stories: the characters.


*At first I said the word was never used at all. But then I found an instance where it is, by a member of a fallen people who have lost all knowledge of the One Power. It's the exception that proves the rule.