Saturday, April 25, 2020

Three Tips For Staying Sane While Staying At Home

Here we are, still in quarantine.

By now we’ve adjusted to the movement control order. COVID-19 continues to wreak havoc on the world, though here in Malaysia the preventative measures seem to be working. We’re lucky that both our government and the public at large are taking this seriously, doing what needs to be done. That isn’t the case in other parts of the world.

The global economy is taking a nosedive, that’s for sure. Millions of jobs lost and opportunities no longer available, entire industries like tourism massively affected. Scary times ahead. The puzzle pieces of our old lives have been scattered, and it’s harder than ever to predict what the future will look like. 




During these troubled times, practical quarantine advice is all over the internet. How to stick to a routine; to stay connected with friends and family; to relax without wearing a butt-shaped groove into the couch. (Who am I kidding, you’ve probably done that already.) Today I want to talk about how we’re thinking while we’re all stuck indoors. Among the many crises ahead of us, mental health isn’t one to be taken for granted.

Today I’m talking about perspective.

Here are three tips for staying sane while staying at home.

1. Check your expectations.

I daresay most of us want to make this time worthwhile, whether that means focusing on our families, learning new skills, or building the perfect island in Animal Crossing. But it can be hard to escape the nagging feeling that we’re not doing enough. We’re contradictory creatures, humans. We dream about having more free time, yet in excess it becomes overwhelming. What was once an oasis in our busy lives stretches out into an ocean of eternity.

Here’s a reminder that we’re in uncharted waters here. In life and in quarantine, no one knows what they’re doing. Everyone’s trying to keep from going under. Don’t beat yourself up for whatever you haven’t done; focus on what you’re doing right now. Take a deep breath and keep swimming.

2. Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.

I’ve always been in the ‘If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well’ camp. But this opposing quote makes a lot of sense. You don’t need to give 110%. Giving 50% (heck, even 20%) is still better than not doing the thing at all. The irony of perfectionism is that this is often what happens. We’re so wrapped up in our desire for things to be exactly the way we want that we become paralyzed by the need for perfection. We burn out before we even begin. Kind of sad, don’t you think?

To put it another way, we must accept doing things badly before we can ever do them well. In a results-oriented world, it can be hard to credit anything less than success. But whether it’s a wonky chord, a messy paragraph, or a loaf of burned bread, our efforts build up over time. We learn through failure.

If you’re working on new skills or long-neglected hobbies during the lockdown, don’t be discouraged by poor results. It’s all part of the process.

3. Reflect on what normality means to you. 

When the quarantine is over and the virus has been defeated, we’ll enter the new normal: a world of grim economic prospects, social distancing, and refraining from shaking people’s hands. It will probably take years to get back to the way things were before. 

But think about whether the old version of normality was working. Were you making enough time for your family? Were you working on personal goals or constantly putting them off for tomorrow? Were you getting enough rest, not just getting sucked into a morass of scrolling social media every night?

Too often in the world, what’s normal is decided by inertia. Now is the time to reflect. Breathe, meditate, journal. What do you want to carry forwards and what deserves to be left behind?  

When we piece the puzzle of our lives back together, it’s up to us to decide how we want the future to look. 

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

Year of the Virus

Here we are in quarantine.

It’s a scary time to be alive. Pandemics don’t just happen every day. Right now, we’re living through a period that will go down in history for its global repercussions and economic fallout. Staying at home is cool and socially responsible now. Washing your hands, sitting on your couch, avoiding other people? You’re saving the day, my friend.

No really, I mean that. This is the best thing we can do right now. We need to stop the virus in its tracks, to cut off the chain of infections. Practicing social distancing is the smart thing to do. Ignoring the medical advice and warnings from the authorities and mounting casualties from around the world…

Yeah, not smart.

So we sit at home, confined to our tiny kingdoms. Extroverts suffer and introverts rejoice until they start feeling the strain as well. People need people, it’s how we’re wired. Now more than ever is a time to appreciate the power of the internet. Video calls, text messaging, online communities. These are the things that get us through the days. We’re all in one big long-distance relationship now.

When we do venture out for food or essential work, masks on and hand sanitizer at the ready, we find a world far quieter than the one we remembered. Buildings shuttered, roads empty of traffic. Queues and temperature checks at the pharmacies and supermarkets. We see pictures online of unpolluted skies and sparkling rivers, wild animals venturing into deserted streets. Nature is finally getting a chance to catch her breath.


To be honest, I kind of like it.

Not the circumstances, to be sure. But I like having the time to be still. This feels like my mother’s chemo, those long days at her bedside in the hospital ward, reading books and playing with my phone and staring out the window. Torn between fear and anxiety and distraction and boredom. Hoping modern medicine will prevail against an illness that struck out of nowhere.

Here we are in quarantine. It’s a time to slow down, to consider what’s working in our lives and what we’re better off without. To strengthen our relationships while we have the chance. To play games and solve puzzles and exercise together. Time to pick up new skills or improve existing ones, cooking and baking and indoor gardening. Learning a language, playing an instrument, taking up drawing again. Time to read books and binge Netflix and clear out your video game backlog.

Time to maintain a daily routine. To show up for work on time even when you’re working from your bedroom. To take deep breaths when your kids are screaming, the walls are closing in, and the future is more uncertain than ever. Time for prayer and meditation. We all need something to believe in right now.

Time to keep calm and carry on, because this isn’t over yet.

So I sit here at 10:30pm, typing this out to My Chemical Romance playing in the background, thinking absently that The Black Parade is one of the best albums ever made. Danger Days isn’t bad either. I wonder how long it will take before the virus is defeated, and what the world will look like when that happens.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring.