Barely Breathing

Protests rage across America.

Riots broke out last week following the death of George Floyd, an African American man detained by a white police officer who knelt on his neck for almost nine minutes. It was only the latest of many, many, many incidents of police brutality towards African Americans. The anger spread like wildfire. People across the country, and the world, stood up to proclaim that Black Lives Matter. 

Delinquents and anarchists took advantage of the protests, looting and burning with abandon. Some police officers responded with the same violence they were condemned for, firing tear gas and rubber bullets into crowds at point blank range. Curfews were announced. The National Guard was called in. Protesters have been killed.

Over 100,000 Americans have died from the COVID-19 pandemic. 40 million more are unemployed. And the country is led by a man who had peaceful protestors cleared away from the White House by force so that he could stand in front of a church, hold up a Bible for the cameras, and pretend he gives a shit about Christian values. 

Welcome to the USA in 2020.

***

My mother loved the United States. She flew across the world to further her education in Massachusetts. She fell in love, got married, and had me. We haven’t lived in the US for over twenty years, but she remembers. To this day, she talks about me going back.

My father once called the United States the most uncivilized civilized country in the world. A true blue Democrat, over the years he’s told me about the unthinking greed and ignorance that causes the worst kind of human behaviour, and how he saw it driving the nation’s increasingly polarized politics.

And then there’s me, the product of these two very different views of the United States. I’ve talked about my ambivalence towards the US before. I wonder whether I should even be saying anything at all. But I’ve decided that I should. As someone born in the United States; as a person of mixed heritage. And as a human being.

Because I wonder: if I’d been raised in the US, would I have grown up with white privilege? Probably. My skin is light enough. Then again, so many people say I look Chinese. It would be truly ironic if I went back to the US and people there started calling me Asian.

One thing’s for sure: I’ve never had to worry about being harassed by police officers just because of how I look. I’ve never had to fear being attacked because people saw me as a threat. I’ve never had to deal with a system of racial and cultural oppression that went from slavery to segregation to ingrained prejudices that still have yet to die. I’ve never had to face the sheer injustice of being born into a country that stifles the person that you are.

No one deserves to live like they're barely breathing.

Racism is not just an American thing. It’s a human thing. One of our darkest tendencies, to mistreat others based on how they look and dress and what faith they follow. To think in terms of us and them. Will we ever change, or are we doomed to keep repeating the same mistakes until the end of time?

I can only add my voice to the chorus. The time to change is now.

To everyone out there marching for a better world and a brighter future: good luck and Godspeed.