Rise of the Tomb Raider - Facing Death Itself

I’ve been playing Rise of the Tomb Raider on the weekends.

It’s a stunning sequel. After the events of the first game, Lara Croft has returned to civilization traumatized by what she saw on the island and what she did to survive. Delving into her late father’s legacy, she realizes that he was on the trail of something supernatural, even though the academic community decried him as a fraud. A villainous organization called Trinity seeks to use his research to find the Divine Source, an artifact which Byzantine legends claim can grant eternal life. So begins a race against time as Lara jets off to far-flung Siberia to reach the Source before Trinity does.

You travel through a world of snow-covered peaks, montane forests and long-lost ruins. The beauty of the wilderness is marred by grim relics of the Soviet Union and the more recent brutality of Trinity’s depredations. Conflict is never far, whether you’re sniping foes with a bow or blowing them away with a shotgun.

In between firefights, you run around scaling cliffs, leaping across chasms, and descending into the darkest depths of human history. Lara never slows down; she can’t. Even as she races towards her goal, she’s also running from herself. Once she was a frightened girl who was forced to grow into a survivor. But what is she now?

A series of recorded therapy sessions after the island illustrates this. At one point the therapist asks if she liked taking control. Lara grows defensive; she had no choice, she says. It was all to save herself and her friends. She had to act, to fight back, to become a killer. The recording ends with the comment that Lara may have to face a hard truth about the person she’s become.

That was when I put the controller down and thought about why I’m playing this game. What does it mean to take control?

***

I’ve always loved video games. I’ve often felt their seductive pull, ignoring the real world for the fantasy they create. And I’ve noticed that I play the most when there’s something on my mind. As Nir Eyal put it in Indistractable, you can’t call something a distraction unless you know what it’s distracting you from.

We live in uncertain times. The year is only half gone, but so much has happened in 2020. We’ve all been confronted by an illness that can strike without warning, a faltering economy, and the turmoil of mass protests against racial injustice that have gripped the world.

And my mom’s cancer is getting worse.

I’m 29 years old now. Looking back, I’ve grown so much in my twenties. I’ve pushed my own limits, done things I only dreamed about when I was younger. Some days I still wish that the years had played out differently. Other times I remind myself that every step has led me to be the man I am today. This is my life, for better or worse.

But nothing prepares you for a parent reaching the end of theirs.

***

In Rise of the Tomb Raider, Lara comes to terms with her father’s death. But her actions hold shades of grey. At one point, she fights off a horde of enemies attempting to break into an ancient sanctum – only to rip the door open herself. Trinity believes theirs is a noble goal and will use any means to reach it. Just how different is Lara, in the end? How ruthless has she become?

I haven’t finished the game. I don’t know how it all ends. But I can relate to wanting to fight the inevitable.

It’s comforting to step into the role of the heroine. Delving into long-forgotten tombs, evading traps and solving puzzles. Ambushing bad guys from the shadows, hurling Molotov cocktails for fiery explosions. Finally gathering enough Byzantine gold to trade for a military-grade assault rifle. Saving the day with her superior skills and acumen and defiance of impossible odds, facing down death itself.

We all want to believe in the illusion of control.

Because in reality, whether it’s a bolt from the blue or a slow decline, someday the family who raised us will fade away. No longer children, we’ll be left with the legacy of who they were and what they left behind on this earth.

And it will be up to us to find the strength to carry on in their stead.