C'est La Vie

Hi. It’s been a while.

No, I’m not dead or in jail or dropped off the face of the earth. I’ve just been busy living my life. I’m pretty sure 2022 was one of the best years of my life so far. Things changed, I travelled, I pushed some boundaries. But I’m not here to talk about all that. Today I’m talking about how I haven’t been writing for a while.

Oh, I’ll spend ages on Reddit forums commenting about video games. Heck, I spend hours a day on my phone in general. But the kind of long-form, introspective writing that I do on this blog; I haven’t written like that in a while. Every now and then that bothers me. Then a new morning comes around. I get up at dawn to start the day, and before I know it another week passes. Another month, soon another year. A little more distance from the person I was when I was younger, who buried himself in books and dreamed of writing his own. God, that was a long time ago.

It’s something I wonder about now and then, in those moments when I look up from all my duties and distractions: how much do you owe your younger self? If the dreams of your youth no longer appeal to you, are they still worth pursuing? How do you tell the difference between giving up and moving on?

Perhaps the answer to that is obvious. But then every now and then the mood strikes me, like tonight, and I’ll put on some Falling in Reverse* on full blast and give it another go. And guess what: I still like writing out my inner musings like this. Who’d have thought?

The thing is that my life is full now, certainly fuller than it used to be. Which is a good thing, of course. I have more responsibilities. In some ways I’m moving forwards, in others I’m still stuck in place. Such is life. I have a better class of problems, that’s what Mark Manson would say. Problems are a fact of life; what matters is that your problems are getting better. I used to follow that guy religiously, now I barely ever check his stuff anymore. Change is the only constant and all that. I’ve got to go to bed soon, another morning is calling. But I wonder.

*I was just going to post a lyric video, but the official MV is some of the most over-the-top action movie shit I've seen in ages, it's hilarious.