Making Messes

I am not a hoarder.

I’m not even close. Those stacks of newspapers and garbage you see on TV? Never in a million years. My room stays clean. All right, all right, I’m not a neat freak, either. Sometimes I miss the cobwebs forming in the ceiling corners. It could be worse.

And it occurs to me that that’s not just because I’m tidy. It’s also because the mess is manageable.

I don’t have a lot of stuff.

The stuff I do have can be divided into three categories: clothes, books, and various odds and ends. Whoops, forgot video games and digital devices. I’ve got a few of those too.

And I’m not really attached to any of it.

The clothes are there to be worn. Duh. The books are for reading, the games to be played. Many of those, gifts and so on, come with sentimental value. That’s normal. I just got a few more over the weekend.

But I have little problem getting rid of old clothes. If I don’t play the games, I sell them. Heck, the only reason I’m keeping my Wheel of Time collection is that I’m sure someday I’ll want to read them all over again.

Things are meant to be used.

But it’s not always that simple. I was reading an article the other day by a self-confessed hoarder. He talked about buying the same books more than once, after losing earlier copies in the piles of junk he’d amassed. He’d forgotten whether he owned them or not – and he needed to be someone who would own those books. While being interviewed about his condition, he blurted out, “What would I be without it all?”

In this case, at least, hoarding was tied to a person’s identity. The lines between who he was and what he owned were blurred. This man needed so much stuff because he was his stuff.

Kind of sad, really.

That’s an extreme example of what I’m talking about today. Not materialism run rampant, though you could make that case too.

No – today I’m talking about self-image.

How do you see yourself?

Physically, emotionally, psychologically. Identity is a complex subject – now that’s an understatement – so let’s stick to perception. What do you see when you look at yourself? And more importantly, do you like what you see?

Everything you see?

Honestly.

If your answer is, Yes! I’m awesome! I couldn’t be more awesome if I tried! Then great, good for you. No need to finish reading this. Go away. Shoo. Be awesome somewhere else.

But I’m guessing that deep down, not a lot of people are going to say that.

A few days ago, there was an instance when I behaved in a way I regret. (I’ll spare you the details.) Logically, I know there were reasons behind how I acted. Mitigating factors. It wasn’t that bad, all things considered. But still.

The next day I hated myself.

I didn’t want to think that I could act that way. I still don’t.

We all have flaws, imperfections. It’s the human condition. There are so many we get hung up on. Maybe you have a short temper, a cynical mind, a passive personality, an addiction. Maybe you take things too personally. Maybe you jump to conclusions.

Even admitting them is difficult. We jump through all sorts of hoops to justify our actions. No one wants to face their flaws.

But we have to.

Despair comes from thinking that nothing will ever change – but we can change.

Here’s the thing about mistakes. The only way to stop making them, is to make them. Every failure is a lesson in disguise. This is how we learn, and grow.

Sucks, doesn’t it.

That guy from the example? He was right. All the junk we carry around, the screw-ups, issues and insecurities – they are a part of us.

But not the only part.

We are more than our mistakes.

So don’t beat yourself up when you make one. Learn from it, and move on. You’ll be a better person for making it.

Heck, you’re a better person now.

You have good parts too, don’t you?

Just a reminder. You never know who’s going to need it.

Dive Into the Heart

This is a fan post. You have been warned.

A new trailer for the next game in a certain video game franchise was just released. I’ve been meaning to talk about said franchise for a while now. This seems like as good a time as any.

First, here’s the trailer.

Confused?

Don’t worry, keep reading. It’ll make sense soon enough. Kind of, anyway.

Today I’m talking about Kingdom Hearts.

Kingdom Hearts is one of those ideas that sound absolutely insane on paper. Way, way back at the turn of the century, Japanese game developers had the idea to mix the colorful, iconic worlds of Disney with the epic JRPG stylings of Final Fantasy. The resulting game was a huge success which spawned a franchise, not to mention a diehard fanbase.

Yeah. I’m one of them. I love KH. It’s one of my favorite video game series of all time.

Still confused?

Okay. Let’s break it down.

In the beginning, Sora was a typical fourteen-year-old – until the night his peaceful island home was struck by a storm like no other. The darkness came to life, shadow monsters appearing out of nowhere. Sora ran off to find his two best friends, Riku and Kairi. But Riku stepped willingly into the darkness. Kairi simply vanished. Cornered by the shadows, Sora summoned a glowing key-like weapon to fight back. But his struggle was in vain, as the islands themselves were torn apart by the storm.

‘There are many worlds, but they share the same sky. One sky, one destiny.’

                                                           - Kairi 

Sora woke up in another world. He learned that the shadow monsters, called the Heartless, threatened the entire universe. They had destroyed countless worlds – including his own.

He met Donald Duck and Goofy, court wizard and knight-captain respectively. Their mission: to find the lost King Mickey, who’d sought the key to defeating the Heartless. Sora just wanted to find his friends. A deal was struck; both sides had something the other needed. Donald and Goofy had a ship to travel between worlds. While somehow, Sora had a legendary, Heartless-destroying weapon called a Keyblade…

Thus began an epic, planet-hopping adventure through one of the biggest Disney crossovers ever, with more than a little Final Fantasy thrown in the mix; Sora and company fighting the Heartless alongside Tarzan, Ariel, Cloud Strife, Squall Leonhart and more, in a universe where all these characters coexist; where Keyblade-wielders determine the balance of light and shadow; and where Mickey Mouse is basically Master Yoda.

Anthropomorphic rodents for the win.

And this is just the beginning.

So you can see why I loved Kingdom Hearts on sight. It pushed all the right buttons. A vivid, Disney-approved art style. Fast-paced action. Magic and powers galore. Light against darkness. Adventure with a capital A.

And at heart – heh – it was a story of friendship, loyalty and destiny. With just a pinch of romance. Sora spends much of that first game trying to save Kairi – while clashing with Riku. Who becomes his rival on the dark side.1 How’s that for a plot twist?

Okay fine, it’s kind of cliché. But still.

Though I’ve never been a major Disney fan, the KH formula of jumping from one Disney world to the next (and some original ones too, of course) remains tried and true. I have fond memories of running around the Beast’s castle fighting gargoyle Heartless. The enemies reflect the world, and often, so do you. In Atlantica, Sora becomes a merman; in the Pride Lands, a lion cub; in Neverland, he can fly.

Alas, you can’t control your appearance. Wearing the Halloween Town outfit in Agrabah is not an option. Customization – these are RPGs, remember – is limited to weapons. Staves for Donald, shields for Goofy, and Keyblades for Sora - and later others.

Technically, it’s always the same Keyblade. Keychains picked up along the way simply alter its powers and design. Getting a new one is always cool. Every world has at least one, while others are tied to side-quests and plot points. The versions Sora gets for defeating Riku and saving Kairi, for example, are among the most iconic, returning in later games.

Oblivion and Oathkeeper.

But of course, there are flaws, too.

One common criticism is that all those different worlds are, well, kind of flat. You can run around finding hidden treasure chests, talk to beloved characters who rarely have much to say, and fight. Then fight some more. Then even more. That’s pretty much it. Contrast that with the wealth of interactive elements in a masterpiece like Okami,2 and there’s no denying KH falls short.

See, the Kingdom Hearts series has always been about the combat, plain and simple. In it, Disney’s ancient China is really nothing more than a backdrop for fighting alongside Mulan. Action – bright, colorful, explosive action – plays a major role. If you’re not down for that, these games might not be for you.

Also, there’s no denying the story is hard to follow. What started out as a (relatively) straightforward tale of good against evil across the Disneyverse soon morphed into a convoluted skein of black-clad figures, body-snatching, ancient Keyblade wars, and tragic backstories.

Don’t let the kid-friendliness fool you. Those twists get pretty dark. Bad things happen, and people die.3 The prequel game, Birth by Sleep, is probably the best example. Three interlocking stories, and no one gets a happy ending.4

That said, the plot for the upcoming Kingdom Hearts 3 is heavily implied to be ‘everyone who has ever died, good or evil, comes back to life for the final battle’. So there’s that.

The titles are confusing too. The numbers refer to main instalments only. Kingdom Hearts 2 was actually the third game in the series. That was in 2005. Yes, it’s been eleven years since the last main title. In that time, Square Enix has kept the hype going with a string of prequels, interquels, minor sequels, and the assurance that KH3 would be made eventually.

Even more frustrating was how those games were spread out over multiple platforms. You needed to own, rent or borrow different devices to even play them legitimately. Yes, I found ways to play almost every one. Told you I was a fan. But it was a hassle.

Having realized this, in the run-up to KH3,5 Square Enix has been releasing compilations of those earlier games for PlayStation consoles, where fans could finally get them all in one place.

So kind of them.

This is nothing new. Square Enix is well known for re-releasing old games for new platforms, new fans, and more money. Don’t get me started on Final Fantasy.

Ahem.

Anyway – that brings us back to the beginning. That trailer was for the third and final compilation, Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue, my gosh, that’s a mouthful.

 

Nice cover art, though.

The first two featured high-definition, director’s cut versions of the bigger games, and movie versions of the smaller ones; all of which I’ve already played in their original forms. But the third actually has some new content.

Kingdom Hearts x Back Cover is an hour-long cinematic telling the story of the Foretellers – the misguided Masters who began the Keyblade War. This, I suppose, is the Prologue part. The movie summarizes the story of Kingdom Hearts Unchained x, a multiplayer smartphone game that hasn’t yet been released in Southeast Asia. When it is, you can bet I’ll be all over it like Tigger on Pooh. Yes, of course they’re in the series too. Unchained is one of only two entries I haven’t at least tried.

Kingdom Hearts HD Dream Drop Distance is the other. Originally made for the 3DS, a Nintendo handheld – multiple platforms, remember – the game has been fully remade for the PS4. It’s the meat of the compilation, and has the distinction of being the first title to actually move the story forwards since Kingdom Hearts 2. Though not on the same scale. In preparation for the climactic events of KH3, Sora and Riku are sent on their own Mark of Mastery quest to become full Keyblade Masters themselves. Functionally, it’s KH2.5.

And what I’m really looking forward to is Kingdom Hearts 0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage.

Yeah. These things have long names.

After the tragic events of Birth by Sleep, Aqua, having failed to save her friends, now wanders the Realm of Darkness alone. This is the home of the Heartless, where all lost worlds go. The sky is black for a reason.

This is the Final Chapter part. Apparently, Dream Drop Distance ends with Mickey revealing he has secrets to confess regarding Aqua’s fate. Now, at last, we find out what truly happened to her.

Though the trailer doesn’t show much, we see her fighting the Heartless in the ruins of Cinderella’s world. Ventus is seen lying on Snow White’s bier, and the mirror Aqua’s doppelganger emerges from might just belong to the Evil Queen. That’s two of the three princesses from Birth by Sleep. It’s possible we’ll see something from Sleeping Beauty as well.

0.2 is only as long as a standard world, probably two hours at most. That isn’t much. But aside from the intriguing setting, it’s also something of a KH3 beta test. The episode uses technology from Kingdom Hearts 3, and is basically a first look at what we can look forward to.

You have to admit. It looks pretty awesome.

For all its flaws, there’s something special about Kingdom Hearts. Maybe it’s the good old-fashioned Disney charm. Maybe it’s the epic themes of light and darkness, all the magic and powers and badass weapons.

Or maybe it’s just the sheer absurdity of running around whacking enemies with a giant key.

The compilation comes out in January.

You can probably guess I’m going to get it.

1 - I like Riku. Unlike Sora, the character undergoes real growth throughout the series. Of course he turns good again; that’s the point. Riku’s struggle with darkness appealed to me. It’s always interesting having heroes who were villains first.

2 - Another of my absolute favorite games of all time. One of these days I’ll write another long post all about it. It’s set in ancient Japan, and you play as a wolf.

3 - I made a video once about one such death, my sole foray into YouTube. You can watch it here.

4 - The prologue shows the three main characters hanging out in the castle grounds the night before their final exam. They laugh and joke around, optimistic about the future. They talk about how their friendship will never end. 

And as the scene fades you hear their voices, in unison, telling you this was the last night they ever spent together.

5 - Rumoured for a 2017 release, but I’m not holding my breath. Well, okay, I am. But just a little.

Fireflight

Music time!

You might remember that the last time I talked about music, it was a female singer. This band has a female singer too.

That’s pretty much all they have in common.

I don’t like a lot of rock bands with female vocalists – simply because I don’t know many of them. I never got into Paramore. Evanescence is good, but too emo. Halestorm’s cover of ‘Bad Romance’ gave me goosebumps - wait for the chorus. But they’re a little too hardcore for my taste.

Then there’s the band I’m talking about today: Fireflight.

Let us pause to appreciate how cool that name is.

I first found them years ago while browsing AMVs (anime music videos) on YouTube. Yes, that’s a thing. Basically scenes from one anime or another mixed and matched with an appropriate soundtrack. Looking for a series I liked, I came across one with the song ‘Unbreakable’.

Nice, right?

I liked it, at any rate. I eventually gave up on the series – not enough action. But I never forgot the band.

They’re a Christian rock band. You could guess that from most of their tracks. I was surprised, though. My idea of Christian music was the uplifting sort. This was heavier. You get the impression many songs were written in darker moments. Hope, despair and the struggle to believe are common themes.

Not to give the wrong impression. Their music is all about moving past those moments. I guess it is uplifting that way.

Defiant. That’s the word. This is the kind of sound that goes really, really well with fight scenes.

Every band has its own style. While theirs is epic, it’s also rather serious. Sometimes I prefer rock music that’s more fun and lighter-hearted, All Time Low or Simple Plan – with the caveat that those bands can get pretty serious themselves. Mileage may vary on the religious themes.

But still. At their best, Fireflight sounds awesome.

It’s getting late, I should wrap this up. So one last song. One of my favorites, and an appropriate one, I think, given that I’m writing this at night.

This is a different kind of lullaby.

Ladies and gentlemen –

‘For Those Who Wait’.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

I’ve finally gotten a copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

It’s one of three companion books for the Harry Potter series. The other two are a history of the broomstick-riding sport Quidditch, and a book of wizarding fairy tales. Maybe someday I’ll get the former. I can’t be bothered with the latter. Magical creatures are the most interesting of the three.

Supposedly, this is Harry’s own textbook from Hogwarts, complete with scribbled notes from him and Ron. As Dumbledore says in the introduction, these books are being sold to us Muggles (non-magical folk) for charity. They are, obviously, entirely made up. We have nothing to worry about. Really.

I was amused to learn the giant spiders from Chamber of Secrets live in the jungles of Borneo. Eating the orangutans, no doubt – no wonder they’re endangered. Dragons have their own hidden reservations. A targeted misinformation campaign convinced us that the Loch Ness monster is fake; it continues to elude capture. And so on.

It’s a thin book which includes quite a number of species unseen in the main series. That said, I was disappointed to find that some prominent denizens thereof are missing. There are no entries for Boggarts or Dementors, for example.

But then, as the opening takes pains to point out, this is a book about magical creatures. Those two probably count as spirits.

Obviously, if you’re not a Harry Potter fan – No? Really? You have read the series, right? – this book won’t give you the same buzz. But the jokes are great regardless. And it’s for a good cause. That part is true; these books were written for Comic Relief. Buy one and (most of) your money goes to charity.  

I’ve done my part. How about you?

To paraphrase Dumbledore: don’t wait until you’re attacked by a manticore.



There’s also an upcoming movie following the supposed author of the book and his adventures. I’m looking forward to it.

Kubo

Today I’m talking about Kubo and the Two Strings.

I just saw this the other night. It’s a great story. Like all great stories, it’s about a hero with a terrible burden. 

In ancient Japan, young Kubo is a gifted storyteller. A clever, kindhearted boy in an eyepatch, with the power to bring origami creatures to life, his tales leave crowds enthralled. But his mother warns that he must never go out at night. Long ago, dark forces killed his father and tore out Kubo’s eye. They still hunt him for the other.

For all their cruelty, these enemies are Kubo’s own family. His mother’s sisters, and his grandfather, the Moon King. It’s only a matter of time before they find him…

Now, with a guardian spirit monkey and a giant samurai insect as allies, Kubo sets out to confront the Moon King at last.

Okay, intro over.

This is a hero’s journey, plain and simple.

The road goes ever on and on...

A quest, an adventure, thrills and spills. Good old-fashioned good versus evil. It’s as archetypal as you can get.

And I loved it. Simple is fine. This is the storytelling equivalent of comfort food.

Though I suppose mileage may vary. I admit that I did identify with Kubo, more than I expected. His relationship with his mother struck a little too close to home. 

Also, I kind of have a thing for Japan. The aesthetic of it all appeals to me. The moon sisters in particular are excellent villains, their true faces hidden behind eerie Noh masks.

Creepy.

I was a little put off by the clash between the setting and the American voices. I’m one of those people who watch anime in the original Japanese. But I guess I’m expecting too much there.

If it wasn’t obvious, I fully endorse this movie. It’s darker than you might expect. But the themes are universal. This is a story of hope and fear, love and loss – and family.

Kubo’s journey will move you.

I guarantee it.

Art Therapy

I started drawing again recently.

It was a single piece that turned out even better than I’d hoped. I’m pretty sure it made someone’s day. So that went well. Sorry, no pictures. That one’s private.

In the process, I rediscovered something I’d forgotten: drawing can have a calming effect. A few days later, I was in a bad mood and came across one of those adult coloring books that have gotten popular in the last year or so. I gave it a shot.

Here’s the result.

Pretty, right?

This type of complex, circular pattern is called a mandala. Loosely ‘circle’ in Sanskrit, it’s a key element in Indian religions. Mandalas represent wholeness; the universe; and the cycle of life, among other meanings. In essence, mandalas represent the connection between our inner worlds and outer reality.

I didn’t know any of that before writing this post. Research, people. It’s essential. Regardless, mandalas already had a meaning for me. They remind me of my childhood, and of my father.

My dad drew mandalas in his spare time. Not just coloring. He drew them from scratch. His study was off-limits to a five-year-old, but of course I snuck in anyway. I liked looking through his sketchbooks. They were filled with colorful, intricate designs. 

We would draw together in later years, filling up sheets of paper with random colors, lines and shapes. He taped them up on his kitchen walls. Collaborations, he called them.

In my single year of public school – I was seven – there was a daily period when our teacher would read to us. We had the option to draw at the same time. I drew a magical, fantasy island; starfighter battles; and random geometric patterns.

Remembering all this now, I see a connection I’d never noticed before.

I’ve never really questioned the things I like. Imagination, bright colors, creative pursuits. I just like them. Point blank. End of story. But now I wonder: where does the story start?

Maybe I like these things because of my father.

I resemble him, I know. My given name is a part of his. Now I wonder just how alike we are.

At any rate. The coloring was therapeutic. But these things take time. I did it on a rare weekend off, when I had time to spare. But I also have books to read, games to play, blog posts to write – not to mention the fantasy story I’ve been neglecting.

I’ve also started working out again, having finally admitted I’ve been using work as an excuse. It’s not that tiring.

I have too many hobbies, in other words.

But I’m not ruling out drawing either. I seem to recall describing it, rather disparagingly, as spending hours on something people will only look at for a minute or two. But I see now that that’s a cynical view. Sometimes the people are worth it. Sometimes they’ll spend more than a few minutes.

And sometimes the drawing is as much for yourself as anyone else.

Changes

With regret, I’m discontinuing my Random Thoughts.

Instead, I’m turning to shorter, more-or-less single subject posts. I’ve been meaning to increase my frequency for a while now, and it doesn’t take a genius to see how consolidating several subjects into 1000-word essays gets in the way of that.

But that’s not all! Just to organize things even further, I might as well make those labels actual categories: Books, Music, Movies, Video Games, and introducing Random – anything that doesn’t fit the first four.

And Personal, for anything referring to me personally. Duh.

I think that covers everything.

If you haven’t figured it out, I like order. I’m generally a tidy person. Figuratively and literally, I like fitting things into neat little boxes.

I remember taking a personality test years ago; one question stuck with me. Who would you admire more? Someone with the discipline to stick to a routine? Or someone who can adapt to any situation easily?

I chose the latter. Not to say discipline is easy. But like I said: boxes. I think in straight lines, as opposed to loops or zig-zags. I need time to adjust, to draw new lines. Being able to adjust to novelty on the fly…that’s cool.

But here’s the thing: life is all about changes. It’s important to recognize when the familiar isn’t working as well as it should, and when we should move on to something new. Which can be a lot harder than it sounds. We just have to believe things will turn out better than before.

I guess this serves as an example.

So yeah. That’s all for now.

*clears throat*

So long, and good night…



Bonus points if you can name the song.